Thursday, June 14, 2012

Chris Lytle, Post-Retirement

I am slowly accepting that I will never be important enough to demand bottle service underneath my private cabana at an exclusive Vegas pool. Nor will I ever be privy to watching underground MMA in a stuffy, cigar smoke filled room, sipping $300 scotch while betting a common man’s mortgage. Instead I am destined to spend my time scouring the Vegas strip for $1 beers, watching MMA next to a guy from Texas who doesn’t understand how “two guys humping each other" is a sport. This is my lot in life, which is a shame because I will never see Chris Lytle fight again. The recent retiree only sees returning in such a high stakes underground bout similar to Fight Club for millionaires; it’s a bit far-fetched. Nonetheless we wish Chris the best and thank him for the years of physical abuse he has given and received for our viewing pleasure. 

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