I am slowly accepting that I will never be important enough
to demand bottle service underneath my private cabana at an exclusive Vegas
pool. Nor will I ever be privy to watching underground MMA in a stuffy, cigar
smoke filled room, sipping $300 scotch while betting a common man’s mortgage.
Instead I am destined to spend my time scouring the Vegas strip for $1 beers, watching
MMA next to a guy from Texas who doesn’t understand how “two guys humping each
other" is a sport. This is my lot in life, which is a shame because I will
never see Chris Lytle fight again. The recent retiree only sees returning in such
a high stakes underground bout similar to Fight Club for millionaires; it’s a
bit far-fetched. Nonetheless we wish Chris the best and thank him for the years
of physical abuse he has given and received for our viewing pleasure.
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