The Carwin/Nelson Build Up is Just.... Awful

Like a bad hangover, I wish that TUF would just go away, because it leaves me feeling sick to my stomach, sprawled on the couch, clutching my liver, gasping for air and occasionally vomiting into a small plastic bucket. I just can’t take Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin serious as I watch them try to build hype for their upcoming coaching gigs and eventual fight. “Hey let’s trade verbal jabs on twitter, cuz that’s cool, wait, people actually use twitter? Crap, we better delete our comments.” Let’s not forget one of them calling the other a “keyboard warrior” I’m not sure who said it, because I don’t care, and I have no idea what that means unless he was referring to World of Warcraft; the only thing worse than this Carwin/Nelson feud is Nick Diaz calling out Anderson Silva, Busch Lite, or possibly Greedo shooting first, possibly.

Jon Fitch to face Erik Silva

I’m used to being the lone supporter of Jon Fitch in a room full of MMA fans, but that’s cool, I’m also probably the only person you will ever meet who loved “Cowboy’s and Aliens” and at 26 years old still holds on to the childhood dream of someday becoming a Space Pirate… or Warlock, but not the Charlie Sheen kind, the magical, Voldemort kind. As with anytime a Fitch fight is announced, fans have taken to the message boards and Twitterverse to express their displeasure in his “boring” style. Personally I don’t see what is so boring about someone who completely shuts down the game of 90% of his competition, in fact I consider that damn impressive. Jon Fitch will return to the octagon this October at UFC 153 in Brazil where he will take on Welterweight stand out Erik Silva.

Shogun/Vera Winner Gets Championship Fight

Does anyone else think this is a not-so-clever attempt to entice new fans into buying PPVs? Vera does not deserve a title shot even if he does upset Shogun; also FOX’s “Road to the Octagon” made no mention of his previous fight with Jon Jones so are we supposed to assume that never happened? Likewise I can’t remember the last time I heard anyone clamoring for Shogun/Jones 2. But it’s doubtful that new fans will know any of this, they will think they are getting a true number one contender fight, which in turn will cause at least some of them to throw down $50 on Vera/Shogun v. Jones 2 (I’m aware I’m not even entertaining the idea of Dan Henderson beating Jon Jones, but that’s because I’m not even entertaining the idea of Dan Henderson beating Jon Jones.)  

Nick Diaz is Joking, Right?

Finding out Nick Diaz wants a “comeback” fight with Anderson Silva was one hell of a way to wake up this morning. First of all, a “comeback” fight? Dude is suspended, let’s not glorify that; the only reason he is pseudo-retired is because he “quit” MMA when he didn’t get his way against Condit which is the equivalent of a toddler storming off the playground when he can’t have the monkey bars. He also only wants “fights that matter” now; remember when he was supposed to fight GSP for the championship, did that not matter? BJ Penn? The Interim Title? What about the Strikeforce title and Frank Shamrock? Nearly every fight he’s had for the last four years “has mattered”. But seriously, Anderson Silva, really, this is the road he wants to go down? It’s ridiculous to think Silva wouldn’t pick him apart in under a round. 

Frank Mir Moving to Strikeforce

I take one day off from MMA only to come back and be more surprised than Cloud calling Aeris a “slum drunk” only to have Barret show up knocking on his door late one night at the Gold Saucer asking him to go on a “man walk” with him, because it’s not a date. Things get stranger when they cram inside a romantic carriage for two where Barret starts talking about the women they’re traveling with while Cloud remains silent. Barret takes this silence to mean that Cloud is interested in his five year old daughter and starts firing off live ammunition. The “man walk” abruptly ends. Still, Frank Mir crossing over to Strikeforce to face Daniel Cormier surprised me a little more. It’s a welcome surprise that will show if Cormier really has it and if Frank still has it. Afterward both men will land safely in the UFC.

Palhares Injured; Out of Okami Fight

I found myself wondering if apes gained hyper intelligence and took over the planet if they would create combat sports and their own form of ape Jiu-Jitsu; if they did, that would be crazy, could you imagine getting into a grappling contest with an Ape, they have like four hands and I would be terrified of the ones that have tails. An Ape Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt with a tail is about the most frightening thing I can think of next to Christopher Walken. Let’s hope our world never gets to that point. Rousimar Palhares could probably hang with an AJJ Black Belt longer than most, but unfortunately he has suffered an undisclosed injury and has withdrawn from his fight with Yushin Okami, drag. Okami now faces Buddy Rogers. And yes, I just watched Planet of the Apes.

Let's Remember Why We Love BJ Penn

If movie quotes have taught me anything it is that the Devil’s greatest trick was convincing the world that he didn’t exist, that’s from the Usual Suspects, which I have never seen all the way through even though I have seen the entire movie on more than one occasion, wrap your head around that. Anyway, I think that was the Devil’s third greatest trick right behind putting Football on Sunday during church hours and convincing us that a 5’6 featherweight punching bag from New Jersey could beat BJ Penn not once, but twice. It stills breaks my heart when I think about that, but I am in a BJ Penn sorta mood right now and you should be too, so take 5 minutes out of your day and enjoy this highlight reel.

(Thanks to TheEmperorMMA for putting this all together)

Alan Belcher v. Vitor Belfort Going Down in Brazil

(Adorable)

Alan Belcher is finally getting some attention after failing to pick fights with just about everyone in the middleweight division. After failing to secure a bout with Michael Bisping, Belcher turned his attentions to Vitor Belfort and the Brazilian was eager to take the fight. The two have agreed to meet as part of the main card of UFC153 in Rio de Janeiro which will be headlined with a Featherweight Championship fight between Jose Aldo and Erik Koch. Belfort hasn’t fought since an early January submission victory over Anthony Johnson; Belcher is riding a four fight win streak, most recently defeating Rousimar Palhares by TKO in May. A win over a high profile fighter like Belfort would put Belcher in great position to challenge MW King Anderson Silva, who is currently still seeking his next opponent. UFC153 goes down October 13th.

BJ Skips Press Conference; MacDonald Threatens Injury

BJ Penn made headlines yesterday when he was a no show for the UFC 152 Press Conference. Penn cited a “family circumstance” as the reason for his absence but his opponent, Rory MacDonald, took it as a sign that BJ is not properly preparing for the fight. MacDonald went on to warn BJ that he has no qualms about seriously injuring him during their fight. I’m not a fan of the BJ/Macdonald match up and I think BJ should be left alone on a pristine Hawaiian beach drinking an exotic cocktail out of a hollowed out coconut. He has nothing left to prove; if he wants another fight it should be at lightweight, not welterweight, he’s too small. Penn/MacDonald goes down September 22nd in Toronto. It is unclear where the bout will be placed among the main card.  

Dan Hardy Doesn't Want Matt Riddle

If you missed the UFC149 Post Fight Press Conference you need to stop what you are doing and go youtube it because Matt Riddle stole the show when he recounted a story of a “butter-toothed Brit spitting on his mouth,” which has started this fire inside him that can only be extinguished by beating in Dan Hardy’s face. I was drinking during the press conference but I think that’s the gist of it. Anyway, Dan Hardy took to twitter the following morning tweeting: “Why would I fight Riddle, what’s in it for me?” or something to that effect. What’s in a Matt Riddle fight for Dan Hardy? About the same thing that’s in an Amir Sadollah fight for Dan Hardy. I like Hardy, but he is 1-4 his last 5 times out so he should be happy he is still relevant (sorta) and being offered fights in the UFC.

Frank Mir Edits His Own Wikipedia Page

This is according to Wikipedia, so I assume it is 100% accurate, never mind that anyone can alter the information. I once got into an argument with my girlfriend and altered Wikipedia without her knowledge in order to prove my point. One has to wonder why I am cruising Mir’s Wikipedia page to begin with, and to that I really have no answer other then I was trying to find some shred of information about the mass quantities of hair gel this man applies on a daily basis. Anyway, here’s what it says:

“Mir says that he lost to Carwin because he momentarily forgot that he is a slick fighter that uses skills rather than raw power. Although many in the MMA community are confused by this explanation, Mir continues to edit his own Wikipedia page.”

Click HERE to check it out for yourself, unless Frank has changed it by now.

Fighter Futures: Renan Barao

It remains to be seen if Renan Barao will defend the Interim Championship while he waits for a returning Dominick Cruz. He could defend it, sure, but the only fight that really makes sense would be a rematch with Faber and no one is clamoring for that fight right now. What this fight proved for Renan is what we already knew: that he is an elite level bantamweight, only now he has a recognizable and impressive name on his resume. The creation of a Flyweight Division (in my opinion) has stripped the Bantamweight’s talent pool leaving Barao, Faber, and Cruz miles ahead of the competition. While I would like to see an Interim Champ who remains active, I doubt Renan will, purely due to lack of a true challenger.  

Fighter Futures: Tim Boetsch

He is now 4-0 since dropping to Middleweight and Tim Boetsch is one of a few possible challenges for Anderson Silva, but realistically speaking, Boetsch is at least two fights out from challenging for a title, and he is yet to prove he can hang with the upper echelon of the division. If the UFC feels Boetsch is ready for a step up I think he will be paired with the loser of Bisping/Stann which would put him on hold until December. Another possibility is Alan Belcher; Belcher has been in and out of headlines since TKOing Palhares, but no opponent has been inked. The winner of a Boetsch/Belcher match up could be paired with the winner of Stann/Bisping in a title eliminator, allowing all men to stay active with only minimal downtime while giving Anderson Silva his typical six to seven months between title defenses. 

Fighter Futures: Hector Lombard

Well, the hype train has been derailed, a 25 fight win streak has been snapped, and Dana White wants Hector Lombard to drop to 170. Things are not looking good for the former Bellator Champion. First of all, I seriously doubt a move to 170 is in the cards, Lombard is 34 years old and I doubt he can restructure his body and continue to make the cut; besides 170 is jumbled enough without adding another name to the list. I think Lombard will remain at middleweight and become another Jake Shields, overhyped outside the UFC, struggles to transition, and will probably hang around the middle of the pack. He will probably get one more semi-big name fight before he becomes just another face in the crowd, possibly the winner of Okami/Palhares or a returning Mark Munoz.

Fighter Futures: Urijah Faber

Here’s the thing with Urijah, even though he came up short in another title fight, he is not quite in the same position as Chael Sonnen. Sonnen was defeated by Anderson twice for the Undisputed Middleweight Belt; Faber is 1-1 against Dominick Cruz and 0-1 against Barao so he is poised for either a rubber match or rematch, also it helps that he is one of the Bantamweight Division’s biggest draws. My point is even though Urijah lost the Interim Title fight he is still the number 3 guy and rematches with both champions are bound to happen before the end of his career. His future is a little murky with no schedule for Cruz’s return, but I expect he will stay active with a tune up fight which will inevitably also serve a title eliminator to face the eventual winner of Cruz/Barao.

Michael Bisping is Damn Entertaining During This Q/A

I’m still recovering from Bellator last night and by that I mean I Tivo’d it and watch it at 2am when I got home from work while simultaneously packing my face hole with a four cheese frozen pizza and a box of macaroni and cheese; and not Kraft Mac and Cheese either, but the Velveeta Shells and Cheese Sauce which is extra disgusting. It amazes me I stay so thin with these eating habits. Anway, Michael Bisping hosted a Q/A yesterday at the weigh ins, and it seems he is taking a page out of Chael Sonnen’s book because the trash being expelled from this man’s mouth is damn entertaining. Check out the video below, courtesy of MMAFighting.com, and start your day off with nearly 10 minutes of Bisping on everything from Hector Lombard to Alan Belcher’s tattoo artist and everything in between.

Aldo/Koch Going Down at UFC153

Drag, I was really hoping to see Jose Aldo defend his belt against The Korean Zombie before the end of the year, but with Zombie going under the knife for shoulder surgery it looks like we’ll be waiting a little while longer. Aldo will instead be paired up with his original opponent, Erik Koch, at UFC 153 in Rio this October. This fight feels the MMA equivalent of the “busy work” teachers would give you in high school. I’m sure Koch is excited for it, but he’s probably the only one. Although I will say this, with all the injuries plaguing the UFC and the stagnation of the Welterweight division and the imminent log jam coming to the Bantamweight division, it is nice to see the Featherweights still going strong, even if there is a lack of exciting title challengers at 145.

GSP Set to Return in November (Hopefully)

The UFC’s Welterweight Division has been in a holding pattern for a while now. GSP last defended his strap in April of 2011 against Jake Shields, before suffering a knee injury that has kept him inactive since. Carlos Condit won a hard fought decision against Nick Diaz for the Interim Championship then chose to stagnate the division and wait for a title unification bout. The number one contender has changed between Jonhy Hendricks, Jake Ellenberger, and Martin Kampmann, and even now a Kampmann/Hendricks fight is on the horizon to settle the matter once and for all. But the welterweight woes are coming to an end: November 17^th, UFC154. GSP is poised to make his return and unify the belts against Condit, while Kampmann/Hendricks will slug it out for first crack at the Undisputed Champion, that is of course barring any potential injuries. Fingers crossed. 

Hector Lombard Wants Mark Munoz Fight (What)??

I’m not sure what type of strange psychological warfare Hector Lombard is trying to implement prior to UFC149, but it’s working because I am thoroughly mystified. Lombard recently said if offered a title fight with Anderson Silva (assuming he beats Boetsch) he would turn it down in favor of a scrap with Mark Munoz. Apparently Munoz had some choice words that didn’t sit well with Lombard, though Michael Bisping has been far more vocal about the former Bellator Champ, in my opinion, and he is yet to acknowledge the Brit’s existence. Luckily Dana White swooped in like a bald Superman and saved the day, pointing out Lombard probably doesn’t have Fuel TV (because really, who does?) so he didn’t realize Munoz just had the contents of his skull emptied by Chris Weidman. For someone striving to prove he’s the best, calling out Munoz was a step in the wrong direction.

Koscheck/Ellenberger Goes Down at UFC151

Man it’s a hot one, like seven inches from the midday sun. I hear you whisper and the words melt everyone, but you stay so cool. My munequita, my Spanish Mona Lisa. You’re my reason for reason, the step in my groove. And if you say this life ain’t good enough, I would give my world to life you up, I could change my life to better suit your mood, because you’re so smooth. And it’s just like the ocean under the moon, it’s the same emotion that I get from you, you got the kind of lovin that be so smooth so gimme your heart make it real, or else forget about it…. I’ve had that song stuck in my head for days now. Anyway, Josh Koscheck and Jake Ellenberger have been paired up for the co-main event at UFC 151, should be interesting. Man, it’s a hot one…

Chael, Chael, Chael

Chael Sonnen is the Obi-Won Kenobi of MMA; since Anderson struck him down, he has become more powerful than any of us imagined. Remember how Heather Chandler became even more popular after her death, well Chael has done the same thing. While his MMA career is currently on hold, Chael definitely has a future as a commentator and an analyst for the sport. Rampage Jackson recently fired off at Chael saying he should keep his word and leave the UFC because as he put it, “Chael suck.” Chael took the high road by first saying, “Rampage has one fight left and it’s not against me,” but then surrounded by a whirlwind of smugness and Force Powers Chael unleashed a verbal tirade reducing Rampage to shreds. One can only assume Page is hiding under a rock somewhere. Let Chael explain it to you, check out the video below…. 

UFC149 Predictions

I try to bring MMA into every aspect of my life, for example I’m always laying on my cats and yelling, “Use your Jitz,” …they never do because they're cats. I also like to lay on my back and tell my girlfriend to, “Get in my guard,” which sounds sexual, but it really isn’t because she typically responds by trying to stomp my face into the ground while screaming, “Pride Rules,” …we play by Pride Rules in this house. Well… now that is something you can never un-know about me, I can’t believe I just admitted that on the internet for all to read and see, so I am going to go hang my head in shame while you check out my UFC 149 picks. As always check them out on Armchair Nation by clicking the link below.

UFC 149 Predictions on Armchair Nation.

Shinya Aoki Makes His ONE FC Debut

Shinya Aoki has fought in the United States only three, most recently in April 2012 when he suffered a TKO loss to Eddie Alvarez. Previously he submitted Lyle Beerbohm, and fell short in a bid for the Strikeforce Lightweight Championship against Gilbert Melendez. America does not agree with Shinya Aoki, but outside of the Red, White, and Blue, Shinya is a submission machine, racking up 30 wins with 19 of them coming by way of tap out. Shinya recently signed with the ever expanding One Fighting Championship, and is set to make his debut on August 31^st against a still to be determined opponent. Aoki is one of those fighters, like Fedor, who earns his living fighting outside of the United States, so he will always have his critics (people who can’t enjoy anything), but you should stop everything and enjoy this compilation.  

Enjoy This Hector Lombard Video

Today is my Saturday even if it is Tuesday everywhere else. My work week starts Thursday nights, making that my Monday, only I work 3 hours on my Monday, so my Monday doesn’t suck nearly as much as yours. Your Friday is my Tuesday, Saturday my Wednesday, I skip a Thursday and Sunday is my Friday before my three day weekend of two Saturdays and a Sunday, commonly known as Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I have a three day weekend every weekend (according to my calendar, not yours). Don’t bother trying to make it make sense, because it won’t. Anyway, on my Wednesday this week (your Saturday), Hector Lombard is making his UFC debut. Will Lombard be the next threat to Anderson Silva, or will he fall flat like many other top fighters outside the UFC? Time will tell, but for now let’s check out this Hector Lombard Highlight Reel.  

(Thanks to MMAforMofos for making this video)

Barao Won't Defend Belt; Will Wait for Cruz

It gets really hard writing about dudes in peak physical condition every day, while I sit at my dining room table surrounded by BBQ potato chips, vanilla cookies, and empty cans of generic root beer. I had a banana a little bit ago which I’m sure cancels that burrito I had for breakfast. I’m disappointed with myself; I’m also disappointed in Renan Barao. Barao, who faces Urijah Faber for the Interim Bantamweight title this weekend, recently said he would not defend the belt if victorious, but instead would wait for Dominick Cruz to return. I don’t understand why Interim Champions are given this option, the Welterweights made it work (barely) with some interesting fights, but the Bantamweights, arguably the least popular division, can’t afford an Interim Champ who won’t fight while their division struggles to gain fan support. I dislike Urijah, but at least he said he’d defend the strap. 

Ronda Rousey Talks Kim Kardashian...

Maybe it was the four day drinking binge, or the two hour time difference between Chicago and Las Vegas, maybe it’s the heat, but for some reason I had this bizarre dream where Ronda Rousey lashed out at Kim Kardashian on the Red Carpet before appearing the following day on TMZ, challenging Kim to a fight and continuing her verbal assault. :: Deep Breath :: I can’t believe I’m writing this, this isn’t news, this has nothing to do with MMA and I’m pissed off that my spell check recognizes Kardashian as a word. If Ronda uses her feud with Kim to further her career (ex. gaining exposure, fans, and promoting her fight, which they did on TMZ), than she is no different than Kim using a sex tape with a celebrity to further her own. I think Ronda is amazing, but this is not the exposure MMA needs.

Luke Rockhold Defends Strikeforce MW Belt

There are certain societal norms we should do away with such as gift registry because it is incredibly tacky to hand people a list and say, “Buy me these,” unless you’re six and writing to Santa. If you buy someone a gift off of a registry don’t even bother wrapping it. MMA fighters that win need to stop criticizing their performance post fight. If you feel you had a bad fight, but you still won, keep it to yourself, at least for the night. Don’t flaunt it in the face of the person you just beat. Luke Rockhold was the latest to commit this offense; after taking all five rounds from Tim Kennedy to retain the Strikeforce Middleweight title, Rockhold said he felt he could have done better. And maybe he could have, but don’t say that in front of Kennedy who fought his heart out for 25 minutes.

Bisping/Stann Slated for UFC152

Move over Alan Belcher, because your bid for the Brit has been unsuccessful. Michael Bisping is now set to face Brian Stann at UFC152 in Toronto this fall. Stann was to welcome promotional newcomer Hector Lombard to the UFC before withdrawing due to a shoulder injury and Michael Bisping was set to face Tim Boetsch before he withdrew with a knee injury; both men are now healthy and slated to meet this September. This fight is intriguing because it could produce a new challenger to Middleweight King Anderson Silva; of course there is also Chris Weidman to contend with as well as Hector Lombard if he is victorious over Boetsch. Bisping/Stann is part of what is quickly become a stacked card featuring inaugural Flyweight Championship fight between Demetrious Johnson and Joseph Benavidez, as well as BJ Penn’s return against Rory MacDonald. Bisping/Stann will boast Co-Main Event status.

UFC Middleweight Top 10

Right now I am sitting on the 30^th floor of Aria Resort and Casino with a panoramic view of the Las Vegas Strip, all because when I checked into my original room someone’s luggage and clothes were scattered across the floor and the front desk felt compelled to upgrade me to a corner suite. I’ve also won over $300 and managed to watch Munoz/Weidman from a sport lounge while drinking Coors Lite next to a weird drunk guy who didn’t understand MMA and then proceeded to follow me and my girlfriend around for the next two hours after the fight. It was creepy. Anyway, somehow during this time I have managed to compile my rankings for the middleweight division, because it needed to be done. Click the link below to check it out on Arm Chair Nation. Now I’m going to go drink a 3 foot tall Margarita at 9am. Vegas.

UFC Middleweight Rankings – CLICK HERE 

Fighter Futures: Forrest Griffin

At this point I don’t even know what to do with Forrest. He doesn’t seem like his heart is in the sport anymore, and it’s hard to blame him when the best match up the UFC can provide you with is a third fight with retiring Tito Ortiz. Forrest is in a unique position, he is no longer a top LHW, nor will he be again, but his name still carries a decent amount of weight. For his next fight, I would like to see Forrest paired with Little Nog, a returning Thiago Silva, or even Brandon Vera post-Shogun. Stephan Bonnar has been making a lot of noise about coaching TUF opposite Griffin leading up to a third fight. Dana White has ruled the coaching idea out, but a third Bonnar is another possibility. 

Fighter Futures: Cung Le

Dana White has made it fairly obvious what he wants to do with Cung Le next: UFC China. Le however could not have seemed more apprehensive post fight coming off his win over Patrick Cote. The 40 year old played along with White’s jokes, but whether we will see him on the November card remains to be seen. Le poses no significant threat to the title and has not even hinted that at a title run being in the cards. I would imagine Le would get paired up with Rich Franklin, who has hinted at another title run, but it remains to be seen whether Franklin can even make the cut down to 185 anymore. Honestly I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if we never see Le again, MMA is physically demanding and he’s not getting any younger. 

Fighter Futures: Chad "Money" Mendes

Dana White stopped just short of apologizing to Mendes for wasting his time with Cody McKenzie during the post-fight press conference at UFC148. There are a couple fights that make sense for the featherweight following his win, but there is one in particular I am pulling for: Erik Koch. The way I see it any fire burning for an Aldo/Koch fight was extinguished by the Korean Zombie, who in all likelihood will be getting the next crack at the title. A rebound win over McKenzie is not enough to become the number one contender, especially since Mendes was just KO’d by Aldo in January. Let Aldo fight Zombie so we have a FW title fight with some actual hype people can get behind, and let Koch/Mendes duke it out in a title eliminator to prove their deserving of Aldo.

Fighter Futures: Chael Sonnen

He came, he saw, he talked monumental amounts of trash you will pass off as your own for decades, and just like that he was defeated. I’m not sure Chael has a future while Anderson is still champion; he won't get another shot, so who? So long as Anderson remains there isn’t another fight that makes sense except for “perpetual gatekeeper” and then, best case, he stops a surging contender while gaining nothing in return. Until Anderson retires, or the belt changes hands, every fight Chael has is the equivalent of treading water in the middle of the ocean. Chael was the perfect foil to a champion that comes along once in forever, but like all great villains he fell short. Just for the sake of seeing them fight I would guess Chael gets paired with Wanderlei or Vitor, if they’re not fighting each other. Damn, I’m depressed now. 

Fighter Futures: Anderson Silva

I think at this point Anderson has earned the right to do whatever the hell he wants in the realm of MMA. You can make the argument he cheated, but nothing affected the outcome of the fight, and you know that… that knee was perfectly legal; you can also make the argument that global warming isn’t real, just to keep things in perspective. Naysayers will always be there, but Silva won that fight, just ask Chael. As far as what’s next… anything is fair game. Personally I wish Anderson would ride into the sunset because there’s nothing left. He is a legend, a myth, someone fighters will tell their children about, and if anyone deserves to retire as champion it’s the man who has held it for the last six years and defended it a record breaking ten times. 

Rampage Jackson v. Glover Teixeira is Going Down

Teixeira has been looking for an opponent since his May win over Kyle Kingsbury, and Rampage has been looking for someone who won’t, “take him down and hump him” for three rounds, and I really want to be excited for this fight, but I’m not. Rampage has made it no secret he is done fighting for the UFC once his contract expires, and he is coming off back to back losses to Jon Jones and Ryan Bader. During the Bader fight he even went “Rumble” on us and missed weight by six pounds. My point being, it doesn’t seem like Rampage is in it anymore, he has become the definition of a paycheck fighter. This fight is however very beneficial to Teixeira whose 18-2 resume is lacking any name credibility; a win over Rampage opens the door to better fights such as Thiago Silva, Bader, or Phil Davis.

UFC is Coming to Russia

I’m sure Russia has some kind of amazing and elaborate history, but in America we only find it necessary to educate students about the Cold War, and how we won the Space Race. Other than that Americans are taught that all Russian women are named Natasha or Nikita, and that all the men are name Vladimir. In fact I can only name two Russians and one of them is Vladimir Putin and the other is Fedor. There was that Russian guy from Rocky 4 who was played by Dolph Lundgren, who according to Wikipedia, is Swedish. I guess I also know Dostoyevsky, but his first name is Fyodor, which is a variation of Fedor so naturally I assume they are the same man; I am an ignorant American. Anyway, the UFC is apparently planning an endeavor Russia, and according to Dana White, it is coming, “Sooner then you think.”

Overeem: JDS is Afraid to Fight Me

Clearly, that’s why JDS infiltrated Alistair’s medical compound Solid Snake Style and spiked his injections with testosterone, ensuring he would fail his drug test and ultimately be stripped of his chance to fight for the UFC title. Overeem has been incredibly vocal these last few weeks, calling out JDS and challenging him for the title. There should be a rule implemented in MMA, where if you are suspended for X amount of time you are also not allowed to talk because Alistair is coming across like a raving lunatic. First he admits the “mystery” injections were spiked without his knowledge, then he agrees to submit to his own randomly scheduled drug tests, and now he says JDS isn’t fighting him because he is afraid. No dude, JDS is not fighting you because you got caught with a 16:1 T level and are suspended until December 27^th. 

UFC148 Recap: Cote/Le

I recently discovered that I have a massive man-crush on Patrick Cote, so watching him lose to Cung Le was very similar to being the weird kid in high school who hides under the bleachers at football games so you can watch Ashley the brunette cheerleader, as she throws her legs in the air and continues to try and rally the home team even in the face of defeat, and god, if you only had the time to talk to her, but science class is only 45 minutes long and your lab tables are on other ends of the room and after class you go in opposite directions. That was all one sentence. Cote seemed to play a little too cautious which I found disappointing, I thought he would have gone for broke in his first fight back in the UFC. I wonder what Ashley is up to these days…

UFC148 Recap: Ortiz/Griffin 3

I’ve never cared for Forrest Griffin, but also never had a reason other than I just didn’t like him; kind of like how when you’re a kid you hate vegetables, only to grow up and declare your independence in the rebellious act of becoming a vegetarian leaving your parents completely indifferent because you are finally eating everything they have been trying to feed you for sixteen years. Sorry, I got off on a tangent there, but teenage rebellion is stupid, you’ll figure that out someday. I thought Tito won that fight, in fact according to Chael Sonnen Math, Tito did win that fight. I just invented Chael Sonnen Math, but you can use it on your next college examine, just hope you don’t have to deal with any triangles. Boo Yah, arithmetic humor, bet you weren’t expecting that. This was supposed to be about Forrest and Tito, but F-it.

UFC148 Recap: Silva/Sonnen 2

There has been a lot of buzz left from Silva/Sonnen 2 and frankly, I don’t understand why. I sincerely doubt Anderson was greasing, he was nervous, and whatever small amount of Vaseline he was able to apply seemed irrelevant as Sonnen took him down in under 10 seconds. The short grabbing was strange but had no effect on the outcome. Next came the knee and the “bad intentions” behind it. I’m sorry, but this is MMA, there are no good intentions, the object is to incapacitate the other. “It was too close to the head of a downed opponent,” so what if it was close, the most accurate striker in MMA put his knee where he wanted it. Honestly, I think we all wanted a more exciting fight and right now, after two years of build-up, we’re all a little disappointed that we didn’t get five rounds of fireworks. 

Silva/Sonnen 2 is TONIGHT!!

Remember that episode of South Park where Cartman digitally alters Kenny’s face into a giant butt, then gets it printed as a missing child on the back of a milk carton only to have two parents with giants butts for heads show up at his door thinking that he’s found their missing child? After this happens Cartman is unable to laugh at anything ever again, because he has seen something so funny and he knows that nothing will ever come close to being that funny again. That pretty much sums up my feelings for Silva/Sonnen 2. I doubt I will ever again be this excited for a fight, in fact I hope the Mayans are right and the world does end this December (via the Reptilians), because after Silva/Sonnen 2 the rest of my life is pretty much meh…

Anthony Pettis Looking to Return by Fall

Anthony Pettis broke his silence and it seems the former number one Lightweight Championship contender is aiming for a fall return. Pettis has been sidelined due to shoulder surgery and hasn’t competed since a February win over Joe Lauzon. It has been mentioned that Pettis is a possibility for coaching the next season of TUF opposite Donald Cerrone, but no official word has been given. In my perfect world there would be no more TUF, and instead Pettis would be slated to face Gray Maynard while Jim Miller squares off against Cerrone, setting up a nice little tournament to see whose next in line after Nate Diaz.  It seems brilliant to me, but then again what do I know; I also think Chael Sonnen is going to win this weekend, that the Reptilians are plotting our demise, and that Theon Greyoy is the best character in Game of Thrones.

Chael Chats with Ariel Helwani

Lately I’ve found myself increasingly annoyed with people. This is particularly hard for me to deal with since I’m a bartender… and people want to talk about EVERYTHING, and I don’t care. The other night I had someone tell me he maxed his credit card shopping online. I nodded and smiled and said, “we’ve all been there,” but that wasn’t enough, he proceeded to explain every purchase he made, all $2,000. To combat this I’m using a new tactic, I start babbling about MMA until they go away, or join the conversation. I’ll let you know how it works. Anyway, Chael Sonnen explained to Ariel Helwani how a phone call from Renzo Gracie caused him to change his verbal approach towards Anderson Silva. Sonnen wouldn’t go into detail, only said Renzo wasn’t happy. Click HERE to check out his interview with Helwani and draw your own conclusions. 

Bellator MMA Onslaught Review

Bellator MMA Onslaught is one of those games that if I paid $60 for it I would be disappointed, but for only $15 I can’t really complain. If you are expecting an MMA simulator al a UFC Undisputed 3, or EA Sports MMA, I would suggest you look elsewhere. Bellator has more in common with Street Fighter then it does with the sport whose name it bears. The ground game is barely workable, clinching is pointless, and submissions rely entirely on your ability to out button mash your opponent. Stand up, however, provides a great deal of entertainment. Switching between high, mid, and low attacks is a breeze using only the left stick. Bellator is not perfect and won’t bring in any new fans, but for those already enthralled with MMA who grew up playing rock ‘em sock ‘em arcade fighters, Bellator will provide a few hours of fun. 

Silva/Sonnen 2: Continuing the Hype

If the universe is infinite then every possible outcome, no matter how bizarre or unlikely, exists somewhere. For example I am out of Cheetos, but in some distant universe everything is exactly the same, only I have Cheetos. But it goes even farther than that: In some universe I am the President of the United States, and so are you, and so is your mother, and your father. Every possible outcome exists somewhere because there are infinite possibilities within an infinite universe, including a world made entirely out of flying burrito men. In some distant universe Chael Sonnen became the reigning UFC Middleweight Champion by defeating Anderson Silva at UFC117. I can only think how lucky I am that I do not live in that universe because then I would be denied the rematch this Saturday. Check out the video below to continue getting jacked for Silva/Sonnen 2.

Bisping/Stann Agree to Fight

Yesterday was the 4^th of July, the birthday of America, and I have to say my inner patriot is feeling revitalized… That’s a lie. My inner patriot is hunched over a toilet just like the rest of me wondering why I thought that fifteenth beer was a good idea. Brian Stann probably had a good day yesterday, and I doubt he hates himself this morning. Reminiscent of his forefathers before him, Stann has declared war on Great Britain, more specifically Michael Bisping. The two middleweights have now verbally agreed to face each other later this year in a fight that could possibly set up another fight that could possibly have title implications at some point, possibly. I need to go drink a gallon of water, eat a Big Mac, and get cozy on the couch now. 

Check Out This Video of Vintage Chael

With the 4^th of July drawing ever neigh, last night was my annual screening of Independence Day, or ID4 as we called it back in the day. Every time I watch that movie I notice more and more little things. For instance there are two scenes where The Fresh Prince walks away from a crashed alien space craft while smoking a cigar in the middle of the desert. The first time happens when he brings down the alien fighter mid movie and the second time is after he saves the world with the guy from Jurassic Park. Chael Sonnen is the only other human being alive who has achieved this level of pure awesomeness, and it is evidenced by this video compilation below.  

Charges Dropped Against Arianny

If you’ve never spent a night beating the crap out of your significant other in a Las Vegas hotel room, you’re clearly not doing Vegas right. It’s a Rite of Passage that signifies the end of your early twenties and your entrance into adulthood, real adulthood, not that fake “I’m 21 and can legally do everything I’ve been doing since I was 16,” adulthood. The domestic violence charges have officially been dropped against Arianny Celeste and Praveen Chandra with the courts citing a lack of evidence. So everything is as it’s always been, and this never happened. With this behind her, and her entrance into adulthood, Arianny can now focus on more important things, like looking hot while carrying large numbers and convincing me Bud Lite Lime is drinkable.

Getting Jacked for Silva/Sonnen

Buffy the Vampire Slayer has ruined my life. It is hands down my favorite thing in the world. When the Series Finale aired I cried like a child on the first day of preschool, not because it had a particularly sad ending, but because I knew that nothing would ever be as amazing as the past seven years had been. Buffy ending was my equivalent of shooting Old Yeller. If I was stranded on a desert island and could only bring seven things with me I would bring all seven seasons on DVD; only later would I realize I didn’t have a television or DVD player. Still, I would sleep with them and they would comfort me. Silva/Sonnen 2 is awakening more of these feelings in me, so I am taking this week to get incredibly jacked for this fight because I may never be this excited ever again.

(Holy Crap, all the thanks in the world to NickTheFace and Khanio for putting this together, it gives me goosebumps everytime.)

Silva/Sonnen 2 Rehashing and Predicting

I just wrote a three page article recapping the history of Chael Sonnen and Anderson Silva starting with UFC117 and heading into UFC148. It took me three hours and several “Fight Breaks” where I popped on UFC3 and played some Pride mode. Turns out I dominate as Shogun. Anyway, I wrote the whole thing and I didn’t make one obscure reference to anything, not even when I wanted to compare Chael Sonnen to Aqua Man, completely useless unless you’re in the water, but the octagon is his ocean. I have to work on that one a little bit, the joke is there but it needs to be polished. So check out my piece over on Arm Chair Nation by clicking below. But before you do that, take a few seconds and answer the two polling questions to the right, they’re MMA related and you like MMA, otherwise why would you be here?

Click Here – Silva/Sonnen 2: Rehashing the Past and Predicting the Future