UFC148 Recap: Cote/Le

I recently discovered that I have a massive man-crush on Patrick Cote, so watching him lose to Cung Le was very similar to being the weird kid in high school who hides under the bleachers at football games so you can watch Ashley the brunette cheerleader, as she throws her legs in the air and continues to try and rally the home team even in the face of defeat, and god, if you only had the time to talk to her, but science class is only 45 minutes long and your lab tables are on other ends of the room and after class you go in opposite directions. That was all one sentence. Cote seemed to play a little too cautious which I found disappointing, I thought he would have gone for broke in his first fight back in the UFC. I wonder what Ashley is up to these days…

UFC148 Recap: Ortiz/Griffin 3

I’ve never cared for Forrest Griffin, but also never had a reason other than I just didn’t like him; kind of like how when you’re a kid you hate vegetables, only to grow up and declare your independence in the rebellious act of becoming a vegetarian leaving your parents completely indifferent because you are finally eating everything they have been trying to feed you for sixteen years. Sorry, I got off on a tangent there, but teenage rebellion is stupid, you’ll figure that out someday. I thought Tito won that fight, in fact according to Chael Sonnen Math, Tito did win that fight. I just invented Chael Sonnen Math, but you can use it on your next college examine, just hope you don’t have to deal with any triangles. Boo Yah, arithmetic humor, bet you weren’t expecting that. This was supposed to be about Forrest and Tito, but F-it.

UFC148 Recap: Silva/Sonnen 2

There has been a lot of buzz left from Silva/Sonnen 2 and frankly, I don’t understand why. I sincerely doubt Anderson was greasing, he was nervous, and whatever small amount of Vaseline he was able to apply seemed irrelevant as Sonnen took him down in under 10 seconds. The short grabbing was strange but had no effect on the outcome. Next came the knee and the “bad intentions” behind it. I’m sorry, but this is MMA, there are no good intentions, the object is to incapacitate the other. “It was too close to the head of a downed opponent,” so what if it was close, the most accurate striker in MMA put his knee where he wanted it. Honestly, I think we all wanted a more exciting fight and right now, after two years of build-up, we’re all a little disappointed that we didn’t get five rounds of fireworks. 

Silva/Sonnen 2 is TONIGHT!!

Remember that episode of South Park where Cartman digitally alters Kenny’s face into a giant butt, then gets it printed as a missing child on the back of a milk carton only to have two parents with giants butts for heads show up at his door thinking that he’s found their missing child? After this happens Cartman is unable to laugh at anything ever again, because he has seen something so funny and he knows that nothing will ever come close to being that funny again. That pretty much sums up my feelings for Silva/Sonnen 2. I doubt I will ever again be this excited for a fight, in fact I hope the Mayans are right and the world does end this December (via the Reptilians), because after Silva/Sonnen 2 the rest of my life is pretty much meh…

Chael Chats with Ariel Helwani

Lately I’ve found myself increasingly annoyed with people. This is particularly hard for me to deal with since I’m a bartender… and people want to talk about EVERYTHING, and I don’t care. The other night I had someone tell me he maxed his credit card shopping online. I nodded and smiled and said, “we’ve all been there,” but that wasn’t enough, he proceeded to explain every purchase he made, all $2,000. To combat this I’m using a new tactic, I start babbling about MMA until they go away, or join the conversation. I’ll let you know how it works. Anyway, Chael Sonnen explained to Ariel Helwani how a phone call from Renzo Gracie caused him to change his verbal approach towards Anderson Silva. Sonnen wouldn’t go into detail, only said Renzo wasn’t happy. Click HERE to check out his interview with Helwani and draw your own conclusions. 

Silva/Sonnen 2: Continuing the Hype

If the universe is infinite then every possible outcome, no matter how bizarre or unlikely, exists somewhere. For example I am out of Cheetos, but in some distant universe everything is exactly the same, only I have Cheetos. But it goes even farther than that: In some universe I am the President of the United States, and so are you, and so is your mother, and your father. Every possible outcome exists somewhere because there are infinite possibilities within an infinite universe, including a world made entirely out of flying burrito men. In some distant universe Chael Sonnen became the reigning UFC Middleweight Champion by defeating Anderson Silva at UFC117. I can only think how lucky I am that I do not live in that universe because then I would be denied the rematch this Saturday. Check out the video below to continue getting jacked for Silva/Sonnen 2.