Silva/Sonnen 2 is TONIGHT!!

Remember that episode of South Park where Cartman digitally alters Kenny’s face into a giant butt, then gets it printed as a missing child on the back of a milk carton only to have two parents with giants butts for heads show up at his door thinking that he’s found their missing child? After this happens Cartman is unable to laugh at anything ever again, because he has seen something so funny and he knows that nothing will ever come close to being that funny again. That pretty much sums up my feelings for Silva/Sonnen 2. I doubt I will ever again be this excited for a fight, in fact I hope the Mayans are right and the world does end this December (via the Reptilians), because after Silva/Sonnen 2 the rest of my life is pretty much meh…

Anthony Pettis Looking to Return by Fall

Anthony Pettis broke his silence and it seems the former number one Lightweight Championship contender is aiming for a fall return. Pettis has been sidelined due to shoulder surgery and hasn’t competed since a February win over Joe Lauzon. It has been mentioned that Pettis is a possibility for coaching the next season of TUF opposite Donald Cerrone, but no official word has been given. In my perfect world there would be no more TUF, and instead Pettis would be slated to face Gray Maynard while Jim Miller squares off against Cerrone, setting up a nice little tournament to see whose next in line after Nate Diaz.  It seems brilliant to me, but then again what do I know; I also think Chael Sonnen is going to win this weekend, that the Reptilians are plotting our demise, and that Theon Greyoy is the best character in Game of Thrones.

Chael Chats with Ariel Helwani

Lately I’ve found myself increasingly annoyed with people. This is particularly hard for me to deal with since I’m a bartender… and people want to talk about EVERYTHING, and I don’t care. The other night I had someone tell me he maxed his credit card shopping online. I nodded and smiled and said, “we’ve all been there,” but that wasn’t enough, he proceeded to explain every purchase he made, all $2,000. To combat this I’m using a new tactic, I start babbling about MMA until they go away, or join the conversation. I’ll let you know how it works. Anyway, Chael Sonnen explained to Ariel Helwani how a phone call from Renzo Gracie caused him to change his verbal approach towards Anderson Silva. Sonnen wouldn’t go into detail, only said Renzo wasn’t happy. Click HERE to check out his interview with Helwani and draw your own conclusions. 

Bellator MMA Onslaught Review

Bellator MMA Onslaught is one of those games that if I paid $60 for it I would be disappointed, but for only $15 I can’t really complain. If you are expecting an MMA simulator al a UFC Undisputed 3, or EA Sports MMA, I would suggest you look elsewhere. Bellator has more in common with Street Fighter then it does with the sport whose name it bears. The ground game is barely workable, clinching is pointless, and submissions rely entirely on your ability to out button mash your opponent. Stand up, however, provides a great deal of entertainment. Switching between high, mid, and low attacks is a breeze using only the left stick. Bellator is not perfect and won’t bring in any new fans, but for those already enthralled with MMA who grew up playing rock ‘em sock ‘em arcade fighters, Bellator will provide a few hours of fun. 

Silva/Sonnen 2: Continuing the Hype

If the universe is infinite then every possible outcome, no matter how bizarre or unlikely, exists somewhere. For example I am out of Cheetos, but in some distant universe everything is exactly the same, only I have Cheetos. But it goes even farther than that: In some universe I am the President of the United States, and so are you, and so is your mother, and your father. Every possible outcome exists somewhere because there are infinite possibilities within an infinite universe, including a world made entirely out of flying burrito men. In some distant universe Chael Sonnen became the reigning UFC Middleweight Champion by defeating Anderson Silva at UFC117. I can only think how lucky I am that I do not live in that universe because then I would be denied the rematch this Saturday. Check out the video below to continue getting jacked for Silva/Sonnen 2.

Bisping/Stann Agree to Fight

Yesterday was the 4^th of July, the birthday of America, and I have to say my inner patriot is feeling revitalized… That’s a lie. My inner patriot is hunched over a toilet just like the rest of me wondering why I thought that fifteenth beer was a good idea. Brian Stann probably had a good day yesterday, and I doubt he hates himself this morning. Reminiscent of his forefathers before him, Stann has declared war on Great Britain, more specifically Michael Bisping. The two middleweights have now verbally agreed to face each other later this year in a fight that could possibly set up another fight that could possibly have title implications at some point, possibly. I need to go drink a gallon of water, eat a Big Mac, and get cozy on the couch now. 

Check Out This Video of Vintage Chael

With the 4^th of July drawing ever neigh, last night was my annual screening of Independence Day, or ID4 as we called it back in the day. Every time I watch that movie I notice more and more little things. For instance there are two scenes where The Fresh Prince walks away from a crashed alien space craft while smoking a cigar in the middle of the desert. The first time happens when he brings down the alien fighter mid movie and the second time is after he saves the world with the guy from Jurassic Park. Chael Sonnen is the only other human being alive who has achieved this level of pure awesomeness, and it is evidenced by this video compilation below.  

Charges Dropped Against Arianny

If you’ve never spent a night beating the crap out of your significant other in a Las Vegas hotel room, you’re clearly not doing Vegas right. It’s a Rite of Passage that signifies the end of your early twenties and your entrance into adulthood, real adulthood, not that fake “I’m 21 and can legally do everything I’ve been doing since I was 16,” adulthood. The domestic violence charges have officially been dropped against Arianny Celeste and Praveen Chandra with the courts citing a lack of evidence. So everything is as it’s always been, and this never happened. With this behind her, and her entrance into adulthood, Arianny can now focus on more important things, like looking hot while carrying large numbers and convincing me Bud Lite Lime is drinkable.

Getting Jacked for Silva/Sonnen

Buffy the Vampire Slayer has ruined my life. It is hands down my favorite thing in the world. When the Series Finale aired I cried like a child on the first day of preschool, not because it had a particularly sad ending, but because I knew that nothing would ever be as amazing as the past seven years had been. Buffy ending was my equivalent of shooting Old Yeller. If I was stranded on a desert island and could only bring seven things with me I would bring all seven seasons on DVD; only later would I realize I didn’t have a television or DVD player. Still, I would sleep with them and they would comfort me. Silva/Sonnen 2 is awakening more of these feelings in me, so I am taking this week to get incredibly jacked for this fight because I may never be this excited ever again.

(Holy Crap, all the thanks in the world to NickTheFace and Khanio for putting this together, it gives me goosebumps everytime.)

Silva/Sonnen 2 Rehashing and Predicting

I just wrote a three page article recapping the history of Chael Sonnen and Anderson Silva starting with UFC117 and heading into UFC148. It took me three hours and several “Fight Breaks” where I popped on UFC3 and played some Pride mode. Turns out I dominate as Shogun. Anyway, I wrote the whole thing and I didn’t make one obscure reference to anything, not even when I wanted to compare Chael Sonnen to Aqua Man, completely useless unless you’re in the water, but the octagon is his ocean. I have to work on that one a little bit, the joke is there but it needs to be polished. So check out my piece over on Arm Chair Nation by clicking below. But before you do that, take a few seconds and answer the two polling questions to the right, they’re MMA related and you like MMA, otherwise why would you be here?

Click Here – Silva/Sonnen 2: Rehashing the Past and Predicting the Future